Recently, with three new teeth making their way out Yui’s gums, Yui has been restless in her sleep. There were nights that I could only appease her if I lay her down really close to me, using my forearm and shoulder as her pillow and after which I’d ease her out my arm and we’d share my pillow. She got used to this that there were times she would just suddenly get up from her crib (attached right next to my side of the bed) and slide down my bed to snuggle against me. And this she does without even a teeny weeny cry. Baby version of sleep walking – sleep crawling.

This evening, after giving her her bottle of milk (up to now, I still give her her milk by holding her against me as I did ever since she was a newborn. Since I started giving her solids for breakfast, she can only drink her milk from the bottle twice a day – once at daycare at the other before bedtime. So these evening snuggles I really treasure) and putting her to sleep in her crib, I resumed with my housework. After I was done with chores and with preparing myself to bed, I went to bed – and stopped in my tracks when I found Yui’s crib empty. I felt like my heart stopped beating and jumped out my body leaving my body numb and cold. “WHERE’S MY BABY??!!!” was the sudden cry inside me, slowly mounting in volume, almost about to burst out my mouth. And then I saw her in the dim light, sprawled in the middle of my bed. She must have been looking for me.

All those fearful feelings just passed by in a split second yet it made me realise the extent of my reaction should it take me longer than a second to look for my missing child, God forbid.

I’m starting to get worried she’ll develop this sleep walking habit, a habit that started because she just wanted to be beside me, a habit that’s totally scary considering the possible consequences especially when she’ll already have her own room, a habit that that has got to stop. I’m dearly hoping this would only be when she’s teething. Please?