The last couple of nights brought me blessings, blessings in the form of lessons on how to be a better parent.
Everyone who’s close to me knows that I’m a cleanliness freak. And being an OC for cleanliness poses a problem when you have a toddler who likes to explore and who needs to explore for her learning, freedom and independence. So what I did was wipe with alcohol the suspiciously dirty areas (think toilet door for one) that are within her level. But if I’d be doing that every night, what with all the evening chores, I probably wouldn’t have the time to sleep. So we decided to let go and be a little lenient and let her explore half of the kitchen (the part without trash cans and stove/grill knobs) and all the other safe parts of our house. She’s definitely happy.
Earlier, when the box of tissue was used up, I gave it to Yui, thinking she’s going to like playing with it. Then she walked about. I gave a shriek when she headed to the trash can, with “dirty! Dirty! Dirty!!” on my head. But what she did astounded me. She cleanly dropped the box of tissue on the trash can; cleanly being not touching any of the other trash. Of course our daughter heaped praises from us after that, her face radiant.
Never underestimate your baby. Let her explore and learn whilst keeping her safe.
The other lessons learned touched me more deeply. My bonding time with Yui is cuddling her during bedtime. More often than not, she would sleep with any part of my upper body as pillow (yes, even my face, during the wee hours of the morning). But last night my body was just aching all over and that I was so fatigued that her pushing her body against me made me wince in pain. And that using my tummy as pillow further drains my energy. So every time she pushed her little body against me, I pick her up, hug and kiss her and tuck her to her bed, explaining that I wasn’t feeling well and that she had to be a grown up girl for the evening. We repeated the same procedure five or six times more that night, until finally she fell asleep on her bed. I woke up in the morning with her still in her bed, woke up missing her head touching mine, woke up missing her dominating my side of the bed and sleeping soundly in the middle of my pillow. Of course it bothered me the whole day.
Come bedtime this evening, after finishing a story from her Beginner’s Bible and after prayer time, she started to crawl back to her bed, looked back at me with an expression that tells you she was weighing things, and then proceeded to crawling to her bed, holding her blankie close to her. It pierced my heart. She didn’t go to me anymore for cuddling. Then I reminded myself that I taught her to do it. With a sigh and the thought of how babies learn fast, I tucked her into her blankie so she’d feel more snug. I didn’t dare ask her to come over to me. It’ll just confuse her. So I let her be, and we just stared at each other from our individual pillows as I sang her her lullaby, me patting her arm.
But then she made a loud grunt and heaved a sigh that suspiciously sounded like exasperation. She then rose and stood up, hesitated, one feet on the top of the edge of her crib that was positioned almost attached to our bed and waited for my invitation. I stretched out my arm and she jumped down into my embrace. And so we cuddled and cuddled some more, my daughter obviously very happy. She switched into several positions, burrowing into my arms some more, and every time looking at me with a very happy face, confident that she is loved.
Babies grow up really fast. And before you know it, it might be you who’s chasing for her hug. Treasure the now. I’ve already borne the pains of childbirth, it surely doesn’t match the pain of an achy body, especially if your baby is hugging you back as well.
Yui anak, thank you for the gentle reminders. I now have my first bout of pollen allergy for the season and I know from now it’s going to be really hard, health wise. So thank you for this early gentle reminder.