It’s been two full weeks since I’ve joined my new project. A project I least expected to be part of. And apparently, a lot of people in the team was surprised too. Surprised because there was already someone who should be handling what I’m handling now. But then some higher up insisted I should have the post instead. Even more surprising was the one who made the strong recommendation was well known to be very strict and of high standards.

And so he had his way. And I’m now in a team where 90% of the people are people with whom I haven’t worked with. And they’re all men. If you are working in a Japanese corporate company, and you’re a woman, you probably know well the battles I have to go through.

I’ve been mansplained since Day 1. I can’t even finish my justifications/technical explanations without getting interrupted. And the way they explained is just so condescending, as if you have no idea of the topic.

And so since Day 1, I’ve been fighting. And asserting my right. Making a stand. There was a time I had to interrupt my “adviser”, and in a chilling voice told him “it’s not my first time, no need to tell me that”. And the other day, when one Lead ignored my email and I followed up, he started explaining as if I was a college student (he’s younger than me). I’m sure I had fire on my eyes when I strongly said while hitting the floor with the point of my umbrella, “do not underestimate! Never underestimate!” He became friendly to me the day after.

Yesterday (Friday) was sort of a winning moment for me. For a week I’ve been trying to tell several people/Leads about a technical issue that will have huge impact. But nobody seemed to understand and everyone seemed to dismiss my opinion. Thankfully finally the second to top guy in the team finally gave me the go signal to ask another department. That other department came back and affirmed the huge cost impact of the issue I raised.

I was vindicated. But I thought of how much I had to fight. I was starting to think that perhaps, it’s ok not to fight too much. It’s ok to just let them be. I know my worth. I don’t have to shout it out. I don’t need to speak up as I’m already getting tired. I am tired. And it’s just been two weeks.

But then today, unexpectedly, a friend who just resigned, emailed me to say goodbye. And to tell me how she looks up to me. How I inspire her to speak up. How when faced with a challenging task, she’d think of me and think what would I probably say or do if given the same task.

I cried. She was thanking me. But in fact, I should be the one thanking her. Because by telling me all those beautiful words, she reminded me to not give up the fight, when there is something to fight for. That just by trying, I can inspire others to try too. That all my efforts so far has not gone to waste, because somehow, I helped others to strive to be better.

Thank you Ish. You’re the third dear one who told me these sweet words; and I hold all of you dear to me. I am thankful I made a mark in your lives, but more importantly, I am grateful that you told me. It polished my sword, as I keep up the fight and move onwards and up.