Our office had made the switch to mobile phones. So today I said goodbye to my beloved IP phone, that’s kept me company since 2012.
Funny that during the pandemic, I used this phone for probably only three times max. And yet only this week I’ve communicated with our Client via this phone for like 6 times.
That’s what I call “going out with a BANG!!
Last night.
“Mommy, has Putin stopped his attack on Ukraine yet?”
“Sad to say, Baby, not yet. Not yet.”
You kept on a thoughtful face.
After lunch.
(Today was school holiday and I decided to take a day off). We were walking back home after lunch at the village cafe, you on your roller skater. Then you spotted a butterfly in the middle of the walkway that’s struggling to fly. The poor butterfly though would most likely struggle to fly for the rest of its life. Its wings have an uneven size, the other much smaller than the other. The windy day (today’s quite pleasant actually) added to its struggles. You were trying to pick it up, me shrieking (I NEVER liked insects). You explained that you had to remove it off the path of someone else, lest someone who doesn’t like insects might kill it, or someone in a hurry might accidentally trod on it and kill it. You gently brought it to a leafy shade and it was soon obvious to see the butterfly looked less distressed and was not trying to flap its wings anymore. You didn’t stop there though. You picked off a couple of wallflowers and laid it in front of the butterfly, giving it food.
Back at home, you waited while I worked on my laptop and tried to answer a colleague’s query from three projects back who needed help. You also told me how you envision my position will be six years from now. My, my. I have to work veeeery hard to meet your expectations!
You then requested me to sing “Country Road”. I wrapped up work, and dutifully sang in front of you. After my rendition, you said thank you, saying it was the first time you felt so relaxed listening to a song. My number 1 fan. 🥰
Took a week off in between projects. From my first month in my last project, I’ve been clamouring to be demobilised. Had to talk to management too to correct some injustices. I finally settled down on Month 4 and accepted my fate and resolved to flourish and do my best at the current project. On Month 5, another project wanted to get me. But the “wardens” of the project I was involved in wouldn’t let me go. Then on month 15, another project asked for me as well. But “wardens” were determined to keep me, despite my workload already in trickles. They couldn’t let me go because the other units are still fully loaded even when I’m not. Why the huge disparity on unit status I cannot explain.
The wardens finally let me go on Month 20. Only, the two projects who asked for me can’t have me now because they had no choice but to already have somebody else in. World events also altercated plans for the project I was supposed to be in. So I was in an ironic situation wherein before, projects were strongly fighting for me but now I’m left with no projects. Of course the Management heard A LOT of complaints from me. There should be better management. Hopefully they’ll improve soon. But for the mean time, I have to be with a project wherein they have to specially carve a place for me because it was not planned in the first place (world events. But my situation is nothing compared to what’s happening with Ukraine). And while I’m on vacation, I also need to summon yet again my inner drive to perform in this project despite not meeting my ideals (I really so so sooo wanted to be in those two projects that wanted to get me).
But something to be happy with:
(1) When you see the terms and methods you’ve been using for years at work is finally being used by others too. Kilig. Super. Influence one person at a time. And see the ripple effect. ❤️
(2) It is kilig too whenever teammates (different nationalities) say they’ll always follow you as their lead anytime. Especially when those certain colleagues have been evaluated by other leads as exceptional engineers. 🥰😍
(3) When colleagues from other departments would say you’re one of the very few people in your department’s team whom they have absolute respect. (Although on hindsight this is not good for my department. I need to work on this next time!).
As I have my downtime this week while I transition from one project to another, I need to reflect though on how I can improve on 2 things: my temper. And how to avoid miscommunication when working remotely. I always tend to argue with a teammate when on remote.
Improvements. Improvements.
I was happily ruminating on my way home. Reflecting how the day started with two big problems at work; where one could possibly cost us hundreds of thousands, if not a million, dollars, and the other a safety issue. How one ended with me finding a possible cost down effort that will have a bigger impact instead of the initial (deemed) cost increase (much smaller). And how the other one ended with different disciplines agreeing (with much satisfaction) to my proposed solution.
It was a day to be thankful for.
Then, just as I was approaching the back entrance of our condo, I saw in the dark the cutest fur animal I’ve ever seen in my entire life. It stood there frozen, looking at me quizzically, yet somehow also looking at me as if encouraging me to move forward. Its big black round eyes was looking at me curiously. Big round belly. Huge furry tale. Looking at me deeply, so much so that I still feel its stare up to now.
Then it dawned on me that I was seeing in flesh the famed lucky tanuki (raccoon dog) The type so cute the photos I’ve seen doesn’t do it justice. I’m seeing a lucky charm tanuki!
When I realised my good fortune, I flicked open the flap of my phone. Dang. It darted away so fast, faster than I could say “wait”.
The encounter was so overwhelming I’m claiming the good fortune it is famed to bring! 😂🤣😅
Whenever you doubt yourself to take on an immense task, thinking your current life must be excellent first before you take on another great role, think of Churchill. How despite having an immense personal debt, and an erring & troublemaker child, he did not doubt himself in assuming the role of the British Prime Minister, at a time when war was raging.
Not all of us are Churchills of course. But who knows, you could be better.
This evening, I shared with you that I said no to a business trip/meeting because it would mean being away from you for at least two weeks around the time of your birthday. That when I saw my schedule, and saw my Unit’s meetings dates, it was an instant no. You then heaved a deep breath and hugged me tightly; even without words, I could feel how grateful you are that I prioritised you.
And then your next words made me speechless.
How about your other teammates Mommy? How are their families if they’ll be away?
Empathy. A generous heart. In which you don’t think only of yourself, but also of others. God bless you, baby. And I am so proud of you.