Life with a grade schooler: on abiding by the rules even when nobody sees you

So we tackled a critical life lesson this week.

There’s this school rule to never bring toys to school, beloved or otherwise, big or small. Then the other night, you tried your might to convince me to allow you to bring your latest favourite – a teeny weeny figure of Cinnamon that came free inside a bath ball (which, by the way, you were able to convince me to buy for you after a year of “NOs”).

Me: You know you’re not allowed to bring toys to school.

Yui: Why is it not allowed by the way?

Me: Because other kids could bring really good toys which are expensive and other kids could get jealous because they could not afford it. Or kids could fight over one toy. Or it could get broken. Or get lost.

Yui: K-chan (your friend at your after-school care) brings her toys.

Me: How come she’s able to bring it?

Yui: She puts it in her edou-pocket (a small clip-on pouch). I can do the same. I can put it in my edou-pocket and will not take it out at school and will not show Sensei and will hide it from other kids.

Me: Yui, now listen. You know there’s a rule to follow. The important thing with rules is to follow it even when no one is looking, even when no one sees you, even when no one knows. Because more importantly, you know. That’s character, that’s integrity, that’s honesty (now this last sentence I’m not totally sure you understood).

Yui: But how come K-chan brings her toys when nobody sees her?

Me: Well, you should ask her, and remind her that it’s not good to disobey rule even when nobody sees you.

Lo and behold you raised the topic again last night.

Yui: I asked K-chan why she disobeyed and brought her toys. She said she’s always in a hurry in the mornings “Shikoku da, shikoku da”, that she forgets to put back her toys out of her edou-pocket. It’s not intentional.

Me: oh, okay, thank you for reminding her.

And then you went off to play and left me to my kitchen chores.

But the suspicious adult in me didn’t buy K-chan’s alibi. Especially since the toys are different, every day. And of course I cannot tell you of my suspicions. That’ll be another lesson for the day. In the mean time however, I will have to ask more about your conversations with K-chan.