Life with a grade schooler: Mommy’s priorities

I was trying to finish off a task before leaving the office for the weekend when a senior colleague dropped by to ask me how I was. I have so many conflicting issues nowadays that I shook my head to say, no, not really fine. Then he asked how my daughter was. I snapped. But I know he is such a kind person so I had that very difficult feeling of trying to explain why I find it discriminating (he’s also a father, why is he still in the office?!?) while saying sorry.

I felt guilty for snapping at him when I know he had good intentions but I also am annoyed at him because now I also feel guilty with Yui.

And so this evening, while tucking Yui in the bed, I sat down by her bedside and looked at her in the eye:

Me: is it ok with you that I work late?

Yui: Yes!! I understand (with much enthusiasm)

I hugged her and said thank you and that I love her so much.

Yui: I understand Mommy have to take care of kodomo (children), work, cooking. Doing laundry, cleaning……

With how she arranged it, I am confident she knows she’s my top priority.

Oh Come All Ye Faithful

For the last seven years, I have been participating in the annual joint celebration between my church and a neighbor Anglican Church. We call it the Nine Lessons and Carols, patterned after Kings College’s. This tradition in Yokohama has been going on since the 1970s. This year however, brought a challenge, as we couldn’t gather as usual. But our magnificent Choir director was undaunted.

She made guide piano recordings for each of the four voices, plus some solos, and emailed extensive instructions. The recordings started early September. We were supposed to record only roughly seven songs (including descant versions), but I didn’t imagine how difficult it would be, considering my late nights from work.

I was planning to record the last song (with descant, and yes, it’s Oh Come All Ye Faithful) during the long weekend in third week of November. However, after an out of town trip in which I sat beside the driver (hence I chatted ALL THE TIME), I lost my voice. Tried to record during the week that followed but I just couldn’t reach even the lowest soprano note.

On top of that, our choir director gave that Saturday as deadline. Tried again during that day but I just couldn’t. I asked for extension till Monday (goodluck with work overtime!) and choir director graciously allowed.

Come Monday, I almost gave up recording. But somehow, something inside me pushed me to “finish the race”. I still couldn’t sing the high descant part so I aborted that second recording. But I think the usual Soprano part, I did well.

Today, I received an email from our choir director asking me if she could use part of my recording as solo, to be used in our teaser recording. And I got the chills after hearing what she had put together.

I couldn’t believe how good it sounded. And to think I lost my voice. And to think I almost gave up. To think I almost said “no, I can’t with the last song”. I am glad I made the push.

A reminder for me to not give up.

It’s actually a perfect cap for me after my first client meeting, with my new Lead with whom I had to fight so he could recognise me. After the meeting, he told me I did an excellent job. I am glad I did not give up.