Category Archives: work

“You always bring good news”

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Work has been overwhelming lately. There’s just too many things to do, with so little time, and not enough people to do the work. And that’s even already considering I have hyper efficient teams. Last Friday, I had to leave early at 7:30pm (yes, that’s early) because I was already dizzy and my head hurts.

Then today, I was on a call with one of our work partners a country away, to discuss one of the issues we were facing. I was just merely trying to share with him what my team was doing and planning to do, and he gave me a compliment that magically lifted my brain fog owing to stress/overwork/tiredness:

Whenever I get to have a call with you, I always end up relieved from our stress. You always bring us good news that makes us worry less.

He was just being honest in telling me how I am helping them. But in truth, I am the one who was thankful today, after that call. The stress/exhaustion that was lifted off me just by being on the receiving of that compliment must have been twice or more compared to the stress he said I helped reallocate.

Thank you, colleague, comrade. Let’s continue supporting each other!

Oh Come All Ye Faithful

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For the last seven years, I have been participating in the annual joint celebration between my church and a neighbor Anglican Church. We call it the Nine Lessons and Carols, patterned after Kings College’s. This tradition in Yokohama has been going on since the 1970s. This year however, brought a challenge, as we couldn’t gather as usual. But our magnificent Choir director was undaunted.

She made guide piano recordings for each of the four voices, plus some solos, and emailed extensive instructions. The recordings started early September. We were supposed to record only roughly seven songs (including descant versions), but I didn’t imagine how difficult it would be, considering my late nights from work.

I was planning to record the last song (with descant, and yes, it’s Oh Come All Ye Faithful) during the long weekend in third week of November. However, after an out of town trip in which I sat beside the driver (hence I chatted ALL THE TIME), I lost my voice. Tried to record during the week that followed but I just couldn’t reach even the lowest soprano note.

On top of that, our choir director gave that Saturday as deadline. Tried again during that day but I just couldn’t. I asked for extension till Monday (goodluck with work overtime!) and choir director graciously allowed.

Come Monday, I almost gave up recording. But somehow, something inside me pushed me to “finish the race”. I still couldn’t sing the high descant part so I aborted that second recording. But I think the usual Soprano part, I did well.

Today, I received an email from our choir director asking me if she could use part of my recording as solo, to be used in our teaser recording. And I got the chills after hearing what she had put together.

I couldn’t believe how good it sounded. And to think I lost my voice. And to think I almost gave up. To think I almost said “no, I can’t with the last song”. I am glad I made the push.

A reminder for me to not give up.

It’s actually a perfect cap for me after my first client meeting, with my new Lead with whom I had to fight so he could recognise me. After the meeting, he told me I did an excellent job. I am glad I did not give up.

Mansplained but Inspired

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It’s been two full weeks since I’ve joined my new project. A project I least expected to be part of. And apparently, a lot of people in the team was surprised too. Surprised because there was already someone who should be handling what I’m handling now. But then some higher up insisted I should have the post instead. Even more surprising was the one who made the strong recommendation was well known to be very strict and of high standards.

And so he had his way. And I’m now in a team where 90% of the people are people with whom I haven’t worked with. And they’re all men. If you are working in a Japanese corporate company, and you’re a woman, you probably know well the battles I have to go through.

I’ve been mansplained since Day 1. I can’t even finish my justifications/technical explanations without getting interrupted. And the way they explained is just so condescending, as if you have no idea of the topic.

And so since Day 1, I’ve been fighting. And asserting my right. Making a stand. There was a time I had to interrupt my “adviser”, and in a chilling voice told him “it’s not my first time, no need to tell me that”. And the other day, when one Lead ignored my email and I followed up, he started explaining as if I was a college student (he’s younger than me). I’m sure I had fire on my eyes when I strongly said while hitting the floor with the point of my umbrella, “do not underestimate! Never underestimate!” He became friendly to me the day after.

Yesterday (Friday) was sort of a winning moment for me. For a week I’ve been trying to tell several people/Leads about a technical issue that will have huge impact. But nobody seemed to understand and everyone seemed to dismiss my opinion. Thankfully finally the second to top guy in the team finally gave me the go signal to ask another department. That other department came back and affirmed the huge cost impact of the issue I raised.

I was vindicated. But I thought of how much I had to fight. I was starting to think that perhaps, it’s ok not to fight too much. It’s ok to just let them be. I know my worth. I don’t have to shout it out. I don’t need to speak up as I’m already getting tired. I am tired. And it’s just been two weeks.

But then today, unexpectedly, a friend who just resigned, emailed me to say goodbye. And to tell me how she looks up to me. How I inspire her to speak up. How when faced with a challenging task, she’d think of me and think what would I probably say or do if given the same task.

I cried. She was thanking me. But in fact, I should be the one thanking her. Because by telling me all those beautiful words, she reminded me to not give up the fight, when there is something to fight for. That just by trying, I can inspire others to try too. That all my efforts so far has not gone to waste, because somehow, I helped others to strive to be better.

Thank you Ish. You’re the third dear one who told me these sweet words; and I hold all of you dear to me. I am thankful I made a mark in your lives, but more importantly, I am grateful that you told me. It polished my sword, as I keep up the fight and move onwards and up.

life with a grade schooler: leader!

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Was telling you last night how I’d be late in coming home because I had to attend an important party with our Clients and that in my Company, only the leaders in my project were invited.

With wide and proud eyes, you exclaimed, “Mommy, you are leader?”

Even at pre-school, you’ve always been proud whenever it was your turn to be the leader. And from the snippets that I’ve seen, you’ve been a fine leader so far. We’re gonna have lots of talks yet of what it takes to be a leader and the struggles and joys of being one (and for the record I’m still a work-in-progress myself). But for the mean time, I relished at the marvel in your face upon learning your Mom is a leader. I wanted to instil that in you. And I wanted you to think, even at a young age, that mothers can make their mark in conservative Japan corporate culture. There are a lot of struggles as the corporate culture is still changing to accommodate us Moms. But we’re getting there, baby. And I hope you’ll be encouraged too, and inspired, and be a trailblazer.

The Day’s Kudos

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I am proud of the schools I’ve been to. They’re not internationally well known nor have they churned out numbers of Nobel Laureates. But they are the best in my hometown and hence home the crème de la crème in my region.

Working, however, for an international and multinational company can make you doubt your capabilities from time to time. It’s one thing to work with people who come from world-renowned universities with patent-holding alumni, and have the likes of Quantum Physics for Masters who have been seasoned with industry experience. But it’s totally another thing when they are idealist fresh graduates who are proud of where they came from.

And so given all that, it comes as a very pleasant reward on your efforts when you see your engineer working for/with you with passion. Even more so when they went ahead and announced to everyone their praise on how you went above and beyond.

I believe (and hope) my managers saw my capabilities hence they put me in my current position. But I hold praises from my subordinates higher than that of my bosses. Priceless. Inspiration for me to do even better. ❤️

Image courtesy of Microsoft Teams

a day to be thankful for

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The daycare’s small program for the September birthday celebrants fell right smack in the middle of our P&ID review period. And luck of lucks, my unit got scheduled on the very morning that the daycare program was gonna be held. When one of the Leads saw my pained look though, he asked if I wasn’t available. And so, right in front of the whole team, I said the reason. Before I realised what was happening (I was still debating in my head whether my conscience will forgive me in case Yui ends up the only celebrant without a parent), the unit leads of the team started to volunteer shifting the schedule of the units. Now who wouldn’t love a team like that?! Of course I told them so too; of how I love the team. In my almost 17 years at work, I have never heard of big review meetings schedules being shifted because of a parent needing to attend his/her child’s event at school (see, these meetings involve many other people from different companies hence most teams are less compromising)

  • And so yesterday, we could attend the celebration. To see Yui’s big, happy, exuberant smile. My heart is so full of gratitude to God and good people who made this possible.
  • There came a bonus too. After the birthday event, Yui’s head teacher called me and gathered her kindergarten troop. They had me seated in the center and then Yui’s class gathered around me. Yui then gave me a DIY-framed photo which was taken after my “Hello Work” presentation to the class. It was lovely; the thoughtfulness of having that small ceremony, the moment to have all the lovely kids and their brilliant teacher gather around me, the sweet photo frame memento. Grateful.
  • When I got back to the office, I learned that there has been “fire” in the morning review meeting. That meant a LOT of argument during the meeting. That means I’ll be dealing with hot headed people when it’s my unit’s turn in the afternoon. It meant making extra effort to be gracious and diplomatic yet authoritative as the specialist for the unit. By God’s grace, I was able to do just that. One Client even commented of how good the meeting for my unit went after having their patience extremely tested in the morning. Thankful to God for empowering me.
  • And to cap a beautiful day, I was able to have a chat with a beautiful friend; who capped our conversation by telling me of how she looks up to me as an inspiration and role model. I see her as someone who’s perfect and a role model herself. Hence for her to say that….it’s one of those ultimate compliments that encourages me to do my best and be the better version of my self.
  • And this, I pray to God.