There’s nothing quite like having a morning walk under these lovely cherry blossoms / sakura!
Category Archives: life
Holy Week online retreat
What our retreat coordinator said back in College was really spot on – that we should take advantage of our yearly retreats as we wouldn’t have it as often anymore after graduation. Indeed she was right as 7 years after graduation saw me without undergoing any retreats.
Hence when I learned about the Philippine Jesuits’ online retreat two years ago, it was like finding a treasure.
These online retreats have come to be really meaningful and enriching for me. As I live in a country where Good Friday is a normal working day, these online retreats I such a treasure.
Last year, their theme was about the Fugitives of Lent. I remember having had to keep hubs on hold in our Skype conversation because I was still full of emotions from the night’s session. I hope this year I can do it with hubs.
This is the theme for this year.
For those who cannot go to retreat places or on a pilgrimage like me, please know that you can also have a retreat in the quiet of your home. It won’t take more than thirty minutes of your time, for only three days.
Make your Holy Thursday, Good Friday and Black Saturday richer and more meaningful.
Click here to know more about the online retreat organised by the Philippine Jesuits.
a story of life and love
I was resting in bed, reading about pregnancy stuff again, listening to the faint sound of hubs’ guitar playing in the dining room. When I got up to get something in the dining area, Hubs urged me to watch a video. Said it’s just 3 minutes.
Seven minutes and two runs after, the both of us were puffy-eyed already.
Do watch. And be changed. (click on the link below)
turning 32
And the leaf has just turned. I’m now 32!!! Albeit nowadays when I’m asked of my age, my instant (innocent) reply is that I’m 29. And then a pause. And then I say “wait”. And then I think about my real age. Haha. It’s not that I dislike having birthdays, reminding me that I’m getting older. In fact, quite the contrary. I’ve never really outgrown that childlike attitude of looking forward to my birthday, all giddy and excited. It’s just that at some point, I stopped counting the age, it’s just a number!
But what I would count though are the blessings. There’s been lots for the last year! Let’s count shall we? ð
âĒ March 5 of last year, I officially became an immigrant. The process was tedious! And the CFO (Center for Filipinos Overseas) experience was both humiliating and utterly infuriating. But am still truly thankful that I was able to travel to Japan and be with my husband on my birthday without any hassles
âĒ because I was able to fly to Japan for my birthday, I was with hubby during one of Japan’s most difficult time – the March 11 debacle. I couldn’t imagine how lonely and depressed hubby could have been had he been home alone. And I couldn’t imagine how paranoid I would have been had I been in Manila at that time, far from knowing the real situation Hubs is in! Of course I’m not thankful it happened! But I am thankful that we were together during that very trying time and that we survived it.
âĒ we had a very beautiful wedding. Civil marriage here in Japan is totally devoid of any ceremony or emotion. And so we’re truly thankful for our beautiful Church ceremony. And we’re thankful as well that we’ve given our families a memory that they’d always cherish. Even now, almost a year after, when I recently heard our Ninang tell her friend that ours was a very beautiful wedding, my heart warmed and I feel jelly-like all over. ð
âĒ thankful for the gift of friendship. Our wedding wouldn’t have been that beautiful if not for the help of friends. For old friends albeit far and rare to see, still we’re able to foster a friendship that would (hopefully) last a lifetime. Thankful for new friends as well! ð
âĒ Thankful that I was able to work. Thankful that I was able to keep my position and career and work in the main company. Thankful that I’m now working on a very interesting project, with my work scope being one of the plant’s core, both a challenging yet very interesting experience. Thankful.
âĒ thankful that this last year, we were able to travel to very beautiful places! – El Nido, Vienna, Cesky Krumlov, Prague.
âĒ thankful that we were able to spend the New year with Atsushi’s family and where I experienced for the first time the true and very interesting Japanese New Year festivities. But most of all, I am thankful for the kindness Hubs’ family had shown to me. I’ve heard “horror stories” from other people about other people’s experiences. Hence I am truly thankful of the kindness Atsushi’s family has shown to me
âĒ thankful for my family’s good health back home!! ð
âĒ thankful for that lovely surprise request although we are yet to know of its outcome
âĒ thankful, thankful, for this little wonderful person growing inside me. Thankful for this miracle of life. My morning sickness is truly bad, yes, and it can sometimes last till midnight. But what’s surprising is that whenever I’m in a meeting and couldn’t get to the toilet for hours, I don’t feel the urge to vomit at all. Even when still inside the womb, I’ve an ace baby already ð
âĒ of course, thankful for my husband. Our blogsite has been witness to how great a husband Atsushi is. Of course he’s not perfect, I’m not blind with his faults. But he’s “perfect for his imperfections” and perfect for the imperfect me.
âĒ all of the blessings above only came from One, Who has been generous to me. Thank you Lord, for all I’ve just mentioned, for the gift of life, for the year to come, for the blessings we’re about to receive, for taking care of all our loved ones, for your patience with me. Thank you for empowering me ð
Have a blessed day everyone!
he gave it just because
I have been feeling the fatigue this week much hence I’ve been going home earlier than usual and so earlier than hubby. Since today was a Friday and I can afford to stay late because I can wake up late, I thought of waiting up for hubby so we can enjoy the walk home together.
To wait for him, I decided to have dinner somewhere. But it took me an hour to select which place to eat in thanks to my morning sickness (or more technically all-day sickness). I wasn’t in a particular hurry anyway since I know hubby is working late. By 9:00pm however, dinner almost done, hubs sent me a message that he’d still be working late so I’d better go back home ahead. I can understand how busy he is as we are working in the same company and I know how demanding the job is so I didn’t complain and just agreed with his suggestion. A few minutes after though, I was already feeling lonely because it’s a Friday and yet i was dining alone.
Not really relishing the fact of being home alone on a late Friday night, I dillydallied in finishing my meal and in walking home so much so that when I was just waiting for the train an hour after, hubby sent me a message that he was already about to leave the office. I then decided to wait some more for hubby.
A quarter of an hour later, Atsushi was a sight to behold. He was hurrying down the escalator, a huge pink bouquet of flowers in one hand and his laptop bag in the other hand, ever hurrying to meet me. Reminiscing how he looked back then brought tears to my eyes just now just as it did earlier when I was meeting up with him, overwhelmed and surprised of his thoughtfulness.
I instantly assumed the flowers were his advance birthday gift for my birthday this Tuesday and posted so in Facebook. He knows how flowers really makes me happier on my birthdays although I’m happy already with the birthday per se. But upon asking him why he decided to give the flowers five days in advance, I learned the flowers were really not for my birthday in itself.
But just because. Because recently, every morning, I chirp on how the branches of the sakura/cherry blossoms are getting thicker with the growing buds and how soon there’d be flowers abloom. Because recently, even when it’s raining, I always happily point out how the flowers are blooming on our magic umbrella as it gets wet. All the chirping had him convinced how flowers make me happy.
Was so surprised, happy and touched with hubby’s thoughtfulness in that I wasn’t able to keep myself from crying – in the subway platform. Haha.
Atsushi, thank you for making me happy, always. God really blesses me a lot. Thankful.
And so, for the flowers’ photos! Trust me, the bouquet was as big as my arm. ð
and so we’re ready to share our great news
Absurd as it may seem to some, I’ve known I was pregnant since week 1. When I suffered from gikkori goshi back in first week of January, I told the physical therapist to take care as I was pregnant. By week 3, I was starting to get nauseous and I was thinking at that time that if I’m not pregnant, I can’t imagine how difficult it can get since I was already uncomfortable with the nausea. Little did I know that my nausea at that time was really just the tip of the iceberg. It-can-get-really-worse especially when the vomiting kicks in.
Come week 4, it was just a matter of waiting for my monthly as I am pretty regular. When the day passed by and I didn’t get a visit, I was already looking forward for the weekend to have the test. But in that week 4, the sleepiness and tiredness has already kicked in. Imagine having fatigue associated with pregnancy and yet having had to be mentally alert during a series of difficult HAZOP meetings!! I remember whenever we have breaks and my tummy would hurt, I talk to baby in the toilet and say “baby, please be with mommy on this. Let’s answer their questions even when the going gets tough already”. Imagine talking to your baby even before taking the pregnancy test! Haha. That’s how confident I am that our little one is growing inside me already.
When Saturday rolled in, first thing I did was take the test. Of course the line was there, albeit really faint still.
But the next few days, there were a series of mishaps that got me really fearful for baby – I had some spotting (read a lot about this being normal but still it’s worrying), we fell down a flight of stairs because of the snow, we met a witch ob/gyn who coldly hinted, with her back facing me, that I might have ectopic pregnancy. All of these prompted me to test almost twice a day, morning and night. I think I had at least 10 tests in that my hubby was already laughing on how addicted I was with the testing. Haha. I finally stopped the tests when I had consistent result like this.
And of course I was praying unceasingly as well whilst taking the tests.
Looking for an ob/gyn was quite tough though. I’ve read a lot of gaijin blogs complaining how there is a world of difference between ob/gyns here in Japan and on the West/Philippines. Honestly, it took me a long time to accept that things are really different and that I just have to try and make up for what’s lacking. The moment I did this, things certainly got better – which was what happened last Saturday.
Now, much as we wanted to share our happiness the moment we knew about our latest great blessing, we had to have some restraint. It’s a big oxymoron, we wanted to share our great news but we need to keep it to ourselves for the mean time because even the doctors cannot confirm yet if my pregnancy is healthy. And I realised why things are so. Apparently, we went to the doctor way too early, just when I was only 4 weeks and barely 6 weeks when usually pregnant women have their first check at 7 or 8 weeks. Since my baby is still very small, doctor couldn’t measure yet and since they don’t have a record of my basal body temperature, they couldn’t give us any assurances. And what we can only do is pray.
Lat Saturday though, after measuring baby and showing me baby’s heartbeat, the doctor looked really happy to tell me baby is normal. He even looked really happy to show hubby baby’s photo.
Doctor must have seen the worry in our faces. He looked really happy he himself inserted our baby’s photo into the birth album that their hospital gives to pregnant women.
Even when we’ve visited their hospital twice before already with ultrasounds on each visit, it was only this time that they really considered my check as an official one, noting it so in the birth album record.
They also instructed us to go to the ward office to ask for the boshitetcho (æŊåæåļģ) so we can get some benefits and also register my pregnancy.
And so because of how the doctor’s visit went, we decided it’s time to share our joyful news.
With this sharing is also a prayer that this is a harbinger of more blessings to count as we witness the growth of this miracle inside my womb. ð