Mommy had a beautiful moment with you earlier this evening, Anak. Thinking about it made me cry tears of joy at 1:30 in the morning.
Dinner was ready to be served (with miso and fresh salad at that!) but we were waiting for Daddy to arrive so we can all eat together. I had just turned off the stove and walked out the kitchen to take your hands off the iMac keyboard. But then you also left the iMac and met me halfway.
You were standing then and was gesturing for me to hold both your hands. Thinking how sweet it was of you to request so, I obliged. But then you turned gymnast. You folded your knees and beautifully arched your back so the top of your head reaches the floor. Achieving this feat, you burst into giggles and laughter and did it again and again, all the while using Mommy’s hands as anchor/gym bar(? hehe). Emboldened, you stood up, arched your back and slowly dipped your head to reach the floor. This being harder, you burst into more laughter when you reached the floor, laughter ringing with happiness because you’ve achieved something difficult. Holding your hands, I can feel how strong you’ve become, how tight your hold was on my hands.
Mommy was very happy to hear your laughter. But what really made Mom’s heart well up was the fact that you were very secured with me. That you know Mommy won’t let go. That you know Mommy can support you. That you know you can achieve a difficult feat by holding on to an anchor, a secure anchor. When you’ve grown up some more, your Dad and I will share with you some more WHO is that secure anchor who will always be with you. But know, dear child, that your Dad and I will try our best to be your anchor, when you need us.
At 19 months, you really haven’t addressed me yet as Mommy albeit there was a weekend when you called me Maman. You’ve consistently addressed me though as “eh-eh-eh”. And that doesn’t bother Mommy at all, Anak. What matters more is that we see you growing up secured, self-assured and able to care for others. These are more than enough.
Grow up well, Anak.
