Category Archives: wedding details

Church interviews galore – Pre Cana

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I admit. OVERWHELMED was what I felt at the time that I was able to summarize all that needs to be done to secure Church approval for our wedding. I was overwhelmed to the point that I questioned the necessity of it, specially for some documents which I found redundant considering we were already civilly married (i.e. procurement of CENOMAR for me and certificate of singleness for Hubbie).

But grumble as I may, we still have to go through the process because it is required by the Church. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be allowed to have our Church wedding. However, as we went from one seminar to the next interview, somehow I felt that not only do I “have” to do this but that I “WANT” to do this.

As we hopped from one seminar to the next interview, I realized that not only is this process a preparation for our wedding ceremony but a preparation for our marriage as well. In that during the course of our interviews and the preparation thereof, we came across situations that are actually issues that Atsushi and I may have to face as husband and wife.

Looking back, it is indeed a helpful process in preparing us for our married life.

First installment: PRE-CANA SEMINAR

We planned to celebrate Christmas with my family in Davao. Since Hubbie’s visit is a holiday season and that it may be difficult to find Manila churches that give Precana seminar over the holidays, we decided to have our Pre-cana in Tagum (Davao) as well. It was a good thing really that they schedule special and exclusive Pre-canas whenever the couple requests so (except Sundays and Church Feasts); but of course at twice the usual fee. Thanks to Mama, our schedule was set (including an interview with our village’s GKK chairperson).

The first obstacle we had was that the woman who scheduled us got us together with another couple and appointed a lecturer that albeit good is not too keen and comfortable with English. We had a dilemma as how best to proceed since the other couple would also be disturbed as I translate the seminar’s topic to Atsushi. I had to strongly request for an exclusive seminar because first, it was what we paid for and more importantly, it would be senseless to have the seminar and yet my Hubbie couldn’t understand a thing about the Seminar. Thankfully, the lecturer arranged for a separate lecture for the other couple, thinking that this will be beneficial to everyone.

First speaker was certainly loads of fun and information. The second speaker was entirely a different story. Aside from only gossiping with us, she had us stereotyped. When she learned the couple she was about to give lecture to has a Japanese groom, even before seeing us she assumed Atsushi was an old guy and I…uhm…wear super sexy clothes. Hence when she learned that I am an engineer, she was terribly surprised. She was even more surprised when she learned both me and Atsushi are engineers.

I don’t blame her really because the old Japanese guy and sexy Filipina tandem is really common here in the Philippines. Our Pre-Cana seminar experience opened our (mine and Atsushi’s) eyes some more on this issue and that probably, in our married life, we would have a lot of encounters regarding this stereotyping. I still get affected with it up to now. As thus Hubbie. I find it heartbreaking, this sterotyping. But I guess it is a call for us to rise to the occasion and meet the public’s prejudiced attitude headon. And emerge victorious.

ruched tulle

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When I went to meet with Richie, the first time, in her condo I absolutely had no idea what my gown preference was. Yes, I initially looked up a website or two on wedding gowns and there were at least 2 designs that I liked although I really wasn’t like, head over heels in love with it. More importantly, I wasn’t sure if they will be good on me what with my petite frame and all.

So I went to Richie totally clueless on the types of cloth used in wedding gowns and totally clueless on what gown I want except for the fact that I absolutely wouldn’t want a mermaid-cut gown on me simply because mermaid-cut gowns are only for tall women which very well i’m not.

I went to meet with Richie with the sole intent that I will give her full helm on designing my gown knowing that she’s much better at this than I do. Because I absolutely have no idea on the cloth industry, Richie and I didn’t talk about gown fabrics so much. But we did talk a lot about a LOT of other stuff, mostly wedding-related preps. She gave me her gown sketch a week after.

What made me go and inquire with Richie is that I loved her bridal creations even when they vary from one bride to another. I wondered at this since I can’t seem to pinpoint a design that once you see, is really Richie. I learned why so the next time we met. It was because she designs her gowns to suit the bride’s personality.

Even when the bride doesn’t realize it at first. Tough one, eh?

Seven months into the preparations, I can now identify silk organza from ordinary organza, from silk chiffon to tissue chiffon and tulle, the lovely, dreamy tulle where 4 months ago, I absolutely have no idea what a chiffon looks like. Before, I thought that all wedding gowns are made of some silk with embroidery and beadwork.

Nowadays, when I look at wedding magazines and websites, I most likely am drawn and would fall for gowns that create that surreal and dreamy effect. And when I realize (or get to read) that it was made of tulle, I go hoity-toity and hyper because I know Richie is making a tulle gown for me.

And it kinda amazes me how Richie was able to sense what my preference was, long before I realized it. Richie perceived i’m all for that dreamy and romantic effect even before I knew I want that effect with my gown.

When I saw the cover of Metro Wedding’s latest issue, I just got so excited I wanted to read the magazine even when I was still queueing for the cashier. Kristine Hermosa’s gown was just so lovely!!! Yet I couldn’t decipher whether it was made of tulle or silk chiffon. Although I am positive Richie will be using both materials on my gown, still, I wanted to confirm with Richie – I loved the tulle ruching in Kristine’s gown and I want to confirm ASAP if it was the same thing that i’m having.

I’m really glad Richie obliged and gave me a peace of mind. Yes, it seems to be made of tulle. Happy!

wedding culture differences

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It was only this evening, on a talk with Hubbie, did I realize three glaring differences between the wedding etiquettes in Japan and here in Philippines. One particular etiquette may be SOP in one country but could be perceived as presumptuous on the other country.

Here goes what, in no particular order of gravity.

1. cash gifts

In Japan, it’s automatic that when one gets invited to the wedding, he/she would be setting aside some money for their cash gift. A previous Japanese seatmate at work mentioned before that usually, minimum amount for the gift is 30,000yen. “Why so expensive?!”, I exclaimed. He says 10,000yen is deemed too small and 20,000yen or any even digit number is considered bad luck. So the cheapest sensible amount is 30,000yen. 40,000 is considered bad luck also so the next reasonable amount is 50,000yen, then 70,000yen, so on and so forth. I had another Japanese friend who cannot attend his friend’s wedding hence he bought flowers for the newlywed but still, prepared his cash gift. Buying a bedsheet or a rice cooker for the couple wasn’t considered at all.

In Philippines, it’s been a custom to set aside some of our time to shop some house items for the couple as our gift. And hence those who didn’t opt for the bridal registry would then find themselves showered with 3 rice cookers, 4 flat irons, plates, pans, glasswares, und so weiter. Although it’s still considered a delicate matter, the Philippine wedding setting has already been somewhat mimicking lately the culture on cash gifts. However, because of the ingrained attitude we Filipinos have to go and shop for house items for the newly-weds, couples are opting to include in their invites their preference for cash gifts. I must tell you though: finding the nice and appropriate way of including this request in our invite is VERY difficult since some guests may perceive this as very presumptuous indeed. But I had to include this request on our invites owing primarily to the fact that our wedding is here in Philippines yet we will be settling down in Japan. To have the material gifts we received here be shipped to Japan would probably cost much more that their actual cost. So I hope, I hope all our guests would understand this.

2. Attire

In Japan, it’s automatic, everyone would come to the wedding attired in their formal wear. They need not be informed beforehand. I have one concern though: they consider black suits as a formal wear. But I don’t want anything black on our wedding. Hence we may have to specifically state on our invites that we’re requesting for no black suits. Barong tagalog is requested especially for male guests who will be part of the wedding entourage.

In Philippines, your invites have to be specific. You need to specify if attire is strictly formal or if casual wear is acceptable.

3. An adult affair

In Japan, again, it’s understood that parents will not be bringing their small babies to the wedding event.

In Philippines, you have to really specify that it is an adult affair and that the couple has to politely request parents not to bring their infants to the wedding. Of course, the kids who are part of the entourage are still coming with us to the reception; they’re old enough anyway. I’m talking of infants. This one is particularly difficult on me now. And I can only hope we can settle this matter without feelings getting hurt.

Wishlist: Spruce Floral Designs

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We’ve already booked our major suppliers and being in the almost-final leg of booking for our suppliers, we are already nearing the high alarm point on our budget. Suffice it to say that we cannot afford to splurge anymore and that we have to tighten the belt.

This fact makes me wish I found Pat and Spruce Floral Designs earlier to prettify the Church some more and to add more style to Ville Sommet’s Glasshouse. But I have to let go.

Please do check out Pat Pastelero’s arrangements on Spruce’s Facebook account and on her tumblr account The Floralist.  Her designs are j-u-s-t lovely.

One thing with Pat is that not only her arrangements really good but that she’s great to work with as well. We only corresponded through emails but she was so fun to talk to and she wasn’t stingy with suggesting her ideas. When she learned we have travel theme for our wedding, she listed a number of ideas on how to emphasize our theme on the reception venue. And they certainly were ideas that I like!

What I initially liked with her was that on her specs sheet, the question “flowers you DON’T like” was included. And of course I have a number of it. She’s so easy to work with.

But again, sigh. I have to let go.

It’s a bit of a torture though. Because everytime I’ll have my fitting with Richie, I’d get to see Pat’s arrangement since Pat and Richie (both having the same name Patricia) share the same unit in Palm Village.

wifey’s note: all posts with “wishlist” are not what we hope to receive on our wedding. Rather, they are stuff that we would love to have but we’ve found we cannot have for our wedding anymore owing primarily to practicality.

flower talk

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Not until Dylan Gozum (of Vatel Manila) pointed it out, did I realize that not all brides are particular with the types of flowers that will be used in their wedding. I thought all brides were as stringent as I am. And I thought all brides were strict on the symbols and meanings of flowers. But apparently no.

Flowers just make my day. They just about complete my birthday and any special event I have, one of which is our civil marriage. The flowers caps the event and at the same time bouys me up some more. In all sense, i’ve come to associate flowers with special and happy events.

Of course, foremost in my selection is the beauty of the flower. But then since almost all flowers are beautiful to begin with, I think the competition will just have to be meted out with the symbol they portray.

Although yellow is such a happy color, I definitely wouldn’t want to have them on my wedding as yellow flowers generally symbolize jealousy. I don’t want any calla lilies on our wedding as well as they are also associated with funerals.

Initially, I have this list as a guide in checking my florists’ proposals:

Tulips generally symbolize fame and perfect love whilst orange tulips in particular means energy, enthusiasm, desire and passion.

Stargazer lily symbolizes wealth, prosperity and aspiration. I love its scent as well!

Peony for romance and prosperity, good fortune and a happy marriage. I am so happy when Macy Dy (of K by Cunanan) confirmed that having peonies for our centerpieces in the reception would not entail flower upgrade. Yey, happy!

Hydrangea, symbolizes friendship, devotion and understanding.


Iris, symbolizes faith, wisdom, cherished friendship, hope, valor, promise in love.


Rununculus, means “I am dazzled by your charms”

I figure that florists would need filler flowers on our bouquets. Hence, I’ve included Forget me nots, which is quite literal really in what they mean – please don’t forget me.

Orange rose, symbolizes enthusiasm and desire. Yes, it has to be orange. No red please.

Yet another filler flower – Heather for admiration and goodluck.


In general, Carnation means bonds of affection, health and energy, fascination, admiration whilst white carnation signifies sweetness and loveliness, innocence, pure love.

For all we know, somebody some time ago just came up with the flower meanings out of mischief. But then again, if flower lovers in the cyberworld agree that so and so flowers has this particular symbol and meaning, it’d be fun to play along with the game. After all, it somehow helps knowing that as you walk down the aisle, you are surrounded with such positive forces albeit it may just only be symbolic and a made-up one at that.

Later, when everything has been fixed, I’ll post articles of my florists to give them due credit.