There’s lots of stories to tell you about this little boy, Yui. And all of them good ones. He treats you with much gentleness and care and respect like an adult man would do to an adult woman that he loves. And Mommy is thankful to him that even as a baby, you’ve known such gentleness already.
Probably one of the most difficult things a parent has to do is knowing when to give your child a helping hand and when to hold yourself at bay and let your child be. You don’t want your child to be crippled with dependence and yet you don’t want to see your child helpless.
Yet again, I had that moment early this evening, seemingly mundane though it may be for older kids. I was then putting my coat in the closet, intent on helping Yui with her layers after depositing our bags. Before I turned to her though, she called my attention and was already handing over to me her outermost winter vest. She earned a praise for this since she was able to work through the zipper. She then went on unzipping her second jacket. I know this one will be more difficult than the vest because of the almost tight sleeves. And so as she struggled I was also struggling within, whether I should go and help her already. A lump was already forming in my throat and 99% of me wanted to assist her especially since she called out “Mommy” already.
But thankfully, I sided with the 1% of me and held my ground. To remove the lump on my throat, I cheered her on, told her she can do it, told her to have some strategy. She kept an eye contact with me and I tried to muster an encouraging expression, a smile on my face while cheering her on.
When she was finally able to remove the jacket, the look on her face was priceless; there’s that unmistakable joy of achievement for doing something by herself. So glad I held on. If I had helped her, I would have had robbed her of that joy of achievement.
We pray we’ll have the wisdom to always know when to lend a hand or when to just sit back and encourage.
The crayons were packaged arranged like this.
But Yui thinks it should be arranged like this, where the crayon tip touches the color indication. Makes sense.
We were on our way to daycare when (as usual) we spotted a dog.
Mommy: Look Yui, there’s a cute dog over there.
Yui: Shippo shippo (pointing to her behind at the same time).
Mommy: yes, dogs have tails ne. Shippa, shippa (I was then making a mental note that shippa is Japanese for tail)
Yui: shiPPO. Shippa nai (not shippa)
And so it has begun. 😀
Was looking hurriedly for stickers for Yui to be occupied with during train rides. As I was looking around for medium sized ones, Yui was pointing for the teeny tiny sticker set – stickers which were as small (or even smaller!) than her fingernails. I told her that it would be difficult because they’re very small; that we should buy the bigger one. But she was insistent. So Mommy gave in and allowed her to put it in the basket together with the medium sized one.
Back home, she worked on her selection first. If truth be told, Mom was surprised. The teeny tiny stickers were no feat at all for our little one; sticking them on the paper in a fast and efficient way. Yet again another reminder to never ever underestimate your child.
I have been on hiatus for some time now and it’s not because of some writer’s block or whatever you may call it. On the contrary, I have several drafts on queue (including those which I’ve promised to friends!), all waiting to be posted, but that which I couldn’t because for some reason, I could not post any photos on my mobile WordPress app – the only place I can blog these days since I could only get near our desktop once in a blue moon.
Anyways, I’m posting this now, albeit sans any photo (WordPress, any help, please?) because of the lessons learned we had today as parents.
Even from way before when Yui was just a few months old and she was learning to reach out for things, we’ve been encouraging her to persevere, to work hard and give her best effort. Now that she’s a toddler and is starting working on her own projects and toy buildings and crafts, instilling the virtue of perseverance even when faced with a tough challenge is even more important.
This evening, I read this parenting article on how to teach your child to persevere. Funny timing because just earlier this evening, our daughter taught us a lesson in perseverance.
We were doing puzzles then. After putting together and completing a few shapes, she lost interest and moved to the other end of her play room to get her Lego set – a lidded bucket with the pieces inside and a square mat. The thing was, she was also holding a towel (her security object). With the towel on one hand, she was having difficulty lifting the bucket whilst holding the mat. With only two tiny hands, of course it was difficult! So we were telling her “muri, muri” (Japanese for impossible, impossible) and we told her that she needs three hands to accomplish her feat. But the beautiful thing that unfolded was that our daughter didn’t listen to our discouraging words. She persisted. The bucket fell. She picked it up. The mat fell. She picked it up. Bucket fell again. And before she picked it up, mat also fell (yes, towel didn’t fall at all). I was already about to spring and help her. But I forced myself to stay put and watch. Thankfully Hubs stayed put as well. And so we watched how our daughter re-adjusted her hands so that she can hold all three and carry all three across the room, near Daddy and Mommy, where we could play and build towers.
It was a lessons learned for us. A reminder for us to persevere and to teach our daughter to persevere instead of saying discouraging words. Thank you for the reminder, Anak. You did (and are doing) a good job.