what Valentines is in Japan

My 71 year old sensei was quite surprised when we told her that in the Philippines, and the rest of the world for that matter, it is the men who make the effort on Valentine’s Day. Said she wants to experience that kind of Valentine’s. My sis in law was quite surprised too and asked if the reason for the reverse is religion – to which I said no. Because yes, in Japan, it’s the women who make the effort during V-day; thinking of creative ways to show their affection to the men of their lives. Chocolate displays on the malls are quite a treat to the eyes as well!

Hubs and I have been teasing each other on who will give to whom during vday this year and he told me teasingly that “when in Rome, do as the Romans do”. I actually planned to go out on Feb 14, to buy Hubs a gift plant (he has a green thumb) and chocolates just like the previous years. But Yui had colds for a couple of days (dear Ward office, please install humidifier and air purifier on the children’s/babies’ floor) and I myself had caught her colds today so no outing for us for the last couple of days. I had to say sorry to Hubs.

When he came home however, I was pleasantly surprised.

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Since I have colds, he bought vitamin C as well.

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A. Thank you for the love, the happiness and kindness. Love you.

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I was showing Moirraine the bouquet and was telling her that “this was given by Daddy”. At the mention of daddy, she turned her head and looked at her dad as if confirming. Could it be she already understands?

baby diaries: love and kisses

When I kiss you good night starting from your forehead, you lift your neck up to lift your mouth, as if telling me to hurry and kiss you goodnight in the lips. And when I do so and kissed both your cheeks too, you look at me like you’re very much in love with Mom.

Or it could be that you raise your lips so you could kiss Mom. Any which way my heart soars.

You do that too even in public. Last Sunday, we had a family day and hung out somewhere. When we were in a coffee shop (mainly to feed you) and I took you from Dad after I got back from the toilet, you looked at me with beaming eyes with a smile on your lips, yes, like you were so in love with me.

Thank you Moirraine. Grow up well and don’t break Mom’s and Dad’s hearts. Please?

baby diaries: your world

When you look at me with those big round eyes as if telling me your world revolves around me. Heartmelting.

When you’re about to sleep and you raise your hand up in the air, even with your eyes closed and I’m silent. My heart fills with joy and warmth because it tells me that you trust and you’re confident that Mom is always there when you need her.

When your 30 minute naps turns to a three hour sleep because you’re napping in my arms. It definitely gives me a sore arm yes. But it definitely is worth the while.

Paalam, Kuya

When my grandmother died last November, I couldn’t sing for two days. Not even Moirraine’s Twinkle Twinkle Little Star. When I learned about Jom’s death last December, I could only ease out what I feel by singing – most particularly Paglisan. But when Kuya Julz death was confirmed last Monday, I became speechless; I couldn’t articulate my thoughts and feelings and could only say “Kuya” with a frowney face on my status on social networks – me who’s usually expressive in written form and more especially when emotional.

When we first heard of the siege Wednesday night, it seemed our world revolved around it (aside from work for Atsushi and me taking care of Yui of course). The day is spent on reading the news and waiting for news within the company. Topic over dinner is about the latest update of the siege. Hearts fearful yet dearly hoping the news about deaths is not true.

Sunday came and we received the news that allayed our fears – Kuya is safe! We were still saddened for the other colleagues (Hubs was getting depressed) yet we were rejoicing that our prayers had been answered – Kuya is safe! I found myself mentally drafting my email to him, to let him know of our relief over his safety. I found myself looking forward as well, to hear about his survival story. I found myself wondering if he’d give a sort of press conference, at least to the P department in Manila, sharing his experience to department-mates who consider him as a dear friend, a mentor, a Kuya (older brother), a Daddy.

But Monday came and brought a terrible news. The real news was that Kuya didn’t make it. It seemed like all the tension and fear in the last five days caused some black hole and took all my words after saying “No”.

Such a terrible way to die, especially for a good man as Kuya had been…..and with this, I find myself lost for words again as I start to try to express myself and try to get a grasp of why it had to happen.

Kuya Julz, I know you can see us all now and know how we’ve been unsettled with your passing; unsettled being an understatement. I can just imagine how your family feel right now because even us, your friends and colleagues all around the globe had been mourning for days; mourning yet still unbelieving. And even when it hurts us a lot, with the unfairness of it, I can only imagine how your friends who share the same office with you must feel; they, who are reminded of you with every corner in the office.

Am surprised I’ve already written quite a lot albeit I still haven’t expressed a fraction of my thoughts and feelings.

I am sorry Kuya that I can’t even write a decent eulogy for you. But know that in my heart, there’s only one Kuya for me – only you and nobody else.

It hurts to say this but I have to because you have to – Rest in Peace, Kuya.
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They say it comes in threes. Please. Let Kuya be the last.

so long, Joms

You wake up one day thinking that everything is still as it is. Never knowing that sometime later you’ll know that you are one friend less.

A friend asks if you’ve heard the news. You reply eagerly, thinking that it’s just news of another friend moving to another country for work. Or two friends getting together. Never expecting the news is of a friend leaving everyone behind.

You go about the rest of the day, thinking of all the times you’ve been together, all the laughter he brought, how loyal a friend he has been, how good he made everyone feel, all the bear hugs he gave you, all the “bottoms up, Ate Marj!”. Knowing that all of those, you won’t have again, in the future.

Know Joms that you are much loved. That all of us are really really sad to not to hear you laugh again nor make another person laugh again. That you would be sorely missed. That it would take us quite some time to really accept that we won’t see you again.

Too soon. Too early.

Rest in peace, dear Joms.

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baby diaries: your morning smile

I love it baby that the first thing you do when you open your eyes in the morning is to tilt your head a bit to look me in the eye and then give me a big, sweet smile.

I am blessed enough already that you sleep through the night when you were yet six weeks old. I am blessed enough already that it’s very rare for you to wake up in the morning crying. But to have you wake up in a good mood, looking for me and bestowing upon me that very angelic smile, God indeed is very good.

Love you, Moirraine anak. Grow up well, my pretty.