Your Ninang Maha was right, Anak. That as you grow up, there’d be tender moments that I have to give up so that you could grow well. And that as we give up one certain bonding moment, for sure they’d be replaced with other forms of bonding.

For one, I have always loved holding you close to me when you go to sleep, singing you “twinkle twinkle little star” (yes! It’s been going on for 21 months now! Counting some more!). But Mommy knows you also have to learn to sleep by yourself on your bed. Oh how I miss your head on the hook of my arm. How I miss your little HEAD and body pushed against Mommy’s. However, by letting you lie down on your bed by yourself, we get to look at each other’s eyes and smile. In the dimmed bedroom light, you smile at Mommy, alternating between an enchanting smile that stretches your mouth real wide and a beautiful smile showing off your teeth. The smile would have been more than enough. But then you look deep into my eyes, your eyes twinkling, your face radiating with love, your face looking happy and secured. During those moments, Mommy’s heart seems to be bursting from the seams. Thank you Yui.

I also had to give up/avoid carrying you with baby carry and walking long distance. Mommy’s back just couldn’t handle it anymore baby. I miss the times that we walk and you’re really close to me, most of times your head leaning on Mom’s chest. The new bonding time in exchange for baby carry? It’s walking with you, your hand firm on my hand. Such lovely walks, baby.

Everyday is such a joy with you anak.