First Hosting Gig!

One day in early October, an old friend (my husband’s bandmate in university) sent me a message in Teams asking me if I could host this year’s Quality Day for our Company.

It is so. Out. Of. The. Blue. So much so that my first thought was “why me?!?”.

I got intrigued with the work though; and with my “try everything” and “take the chance” mentality, I accepted the offer. Even when I have never done any hosting prior.

Fast forward to Nov 13 and I was put in front, putting on the deepest voice I could muster (I really could never tolerate girly high pitched voice when the speaker is in front of the public), I was speaking in front of top management and employees, onsite and online, more than 5,000 people at least.

Funniest thing was I had to stand on top of a makeshift pedestal (a stack of unopened package of A4 and A3 paper) because the camera wouldn’t be able to see me as the podium was too high for me.

After the event, I could not even say bye to the Chairman of the organizing committee as I had to rush to check my P&IDs which are due to be issued the day after. I couldn’t have his pat on my back.

But I know I did well. And I hope I have this talent. But most of all, I thank God for giving me a clear head, stage presence, and clear voice during the event itself.

Will this be a new sideline work? Let’s see!

Takayama/Shirakawago/Kurobe Nov 2024

The week flew by so fast!
Takayama (sarobobo), we meet again. The last time I went to Takayama, 2010, it was a solo trip on my last weekend as a sort of “goodbye Japan” for me. The Monday after the trip, I was offered an extension for another project and there met my husband. The rest is history.


Shirakawago, I am sorry I could not have a photo of you that would do you justice. You’re so beautiful! I hope you will keep your beauty for generations to come.


Kurobe Dam hello again. We missed your peak autumn foliage but it’s nice to see you again.
Mikurigaike Pond and Murodo Plateau, you’ll be memorable to me in many ways.

And my favorite!! Prefectural Road 158. I’ll drive your whole length one of these autumns!!
Drive a total of 900km in three days! Of course, I’ll do it again and more.

Just Show Up

I’m reminded today of how important this is.

Last night our project lead commented harshly on my Team’s output. I was so bothered with it and the feeling of being incompetent and impostor pervaded within me the whole night and the following morning. Curiously and thankfully I could sleep well. My thoughts and feelings were so grey the following morning that the only thing that made me wanting to go to office was because I committed to prepare a document that needs to be turned in by 10:30am (btw bus schedule and all, I arrived at the office at 10am; I turned it in at 10:28am and was returned without comments, ready to be issued.

And as today wore on, things unfolded in a way that validated my reasoning last night. I was right after all.

My decisions were right after all.

If I hadn’t showed up today, if I called and feigned sickness, I wouldn’t have known that.

Just show up.

I’m glad I just showed up today.

Bye my IP Phone

Our office had made the switch to mobile phones. So today I said goodbye to my beloved IP phone, that’s kept me company since 2012.

Funny that during the pandemic, I used this phone for probably only three times max. And yet only this week I’ve communicated with our Client via this phone for like 6 times.

That’s what I call “going out with a BANG!!

On Wars and Butterfly kisses

Last night.

“Mommy, has Putin stopped his attack on Ukraine yet?”

“Sad to say, Baby, not yet. Not yet.”

You kept on a thoughtful face.

After lunch.

(Today was school holiday and I decided to take a day off). We were walking back home after lunch at the village cafe, you on your roller skater. Then you spotted a butterfly in the middle of the walkway that’s struggling to fly. The poor butterfly though would most likely struggle to fly for the rest of its life. Its wings have an uneven size, the other much smaller than the other. The windy day (today’s quite pleasant actually) added to its struggles. You were trying to pick it up, me shrieking (I NEVER liked insects). You explained that you had to remove it off the path of someone else, lest someone who doesn’t like insects might kill it, or someone in a hurry might accidentally trod on it and kill it. You gently brought it to a leafy shade and it was soon obvious to see the butterfly looked less distressed and was not trying to flap its wings anymore. You didn’t stop there though. You picked off a couple of wallflowers and laid it in front of the butterfly, giving it food.

Back at home, you waited while I worked on my laptop and tried to answer a colleague’s query from three projects back who needed help. You also told me how you envision my position will be six years from now. My, my. I have to work veeeery hard to meet your expectations!

You then requested me to sing “Country Road”. I wrapped up work, and dutifully sang in front of you. After my rendition, you said thank you, saying it was the first time you felt so relaxed listening to a song. My number 1 fan. 🥰

Downtime Reflections

Took a week off in between projects. From my first month in my last project, I’ve been clamouring to be demobilised. Had to talk to management too to correct some injustices. I finally settled down on Month 4 and accepted my fate and resolved to flourish and do my best at the current project. On Month 5, another project wanted to get me. But the “wardens” of the project I was involved in wouldn’t let me go. Then on month 15, another project asked for me as well. But “wardens” were determined to keep me, despite my workload already in trickles. They couldn’t let me go because the other units are still fully loaded even when I’m not. Why the huge disparity on unit status I cannot explain.

The wardens finally let me go on Month 20. Only, the two projects who asked for me can’t have me now because they had no choice but to already have somebody else in. World events also altercated plans for the project I was supposed to be in. So I was in an ironic situation wherein before, projects were strongly fighting for me but now I’m left with no projects. Of course the Management heard A LOT of complaints from me. There should be better management. Hopefully they’ll improve soon. But for the mean time, I have to be with a project wherein they have to specially carve a place for me because it was not planned in the first place (world events. But my situation is nothing compared to what’s happening with Ukraine). And while I’m on vacation, I also need to summon yet again my inner drive to perform in this project despite not meeting my ideals (I really so so sooo wanted to be in those two projects that wanted to get me).

But something to be happy with:

(1) When you see the terms and methods you’ve been using for years at work is finally being used by others too. Kilig. Super. Influence one person at a time. And see the ripple effect. ❤️

(2) It is kilig too whenever teammates (different nationalities) say they’ll always follow you as their lead anytime. Especially when those certain colleagues have been evaluated by other leads as exceptional engineers. 🥰😍

(3) When colleagues from other departments would say you’re one of the very few people in your department’s team whom they have absolute respect. (Although on hindsight this is not good for my department. I need to work on this next time!).

As I have my downtime this week while I transition from one project to another, I need to reflect though on how I can improve on 2 things: my temper. And how to avoid miscommunication when working remotely. I always tend to argue with a teammate when on remote.

Improvements. Improvements.