farewell, Hiojiichan

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It was a short seven and half years compared to your 95; not enough to get to know each other deeply especially since we live in separate regions and we have the language barrier to be scaled. But it was more than enough time for me to grow very very fond of you.

In these two days, whenever we go over to you and look at your peaceful face, the words that comes foremost in my mind are “thank you”. Thank you. I am so glad I was able to express my heart to you and Hiobaachan last year; about how thankful I am to the both of you. But I wish, I could have said it in person, look at your round eyes that so reminds me of Atsushi. Nevertheless, there’s no sense now to regret. What I can do now is to live my life fully, as I know you have lived yours.

I will never forget. You will always be in our hearts. Thank you. Rest in peace, enjoy heaven; Hiojiichan.

Oh, the Places You’ll Go! Daycare Year 5

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We’re here. Finally you’re in the oldest class in daycare; たいよう組. Years from now, you’ll understand what an emotional point this is for me. Was able to talk to Hitonari’s Mom today and we were talking how now your class is the eldest when it seemed like it was only yesterday that you were crawling around, the youngest in the school.

It was almost symbolic actually because for the first time, you chose what to wear for today and prepared it the night before. I didn’t have to make you hurry too. In fact, you dragged me to walk faster. How much you’ve grown. And for that matter I was surprised the spring pants you’re wearing was already inches short on you when it was still a little bit long when you wore it last in autumn.

This year will be busy as we will be preparing for when you enter elementary school. But as I keep on saying, let’s enjoy the present; live the present.

Grow well, Anak. Love. Laugh. God bless you.

PS (March 30)

I learned today that your head teacher last year (my favourite!) is also your head teacher this year. I’m totally ecstatic. We owe it to her that you could seamlessly read your hiragana and katakana really fast. And you could write too!

And since this year will be full packed with activities and preparations, I am truly thankful she’s your head teacher. In hindsight though, I think the school staff thought it best that she still be your class’ head sensei because they can see our rapport. I probably am difficult to handle for them…and somehow, her level of strictness coincides with mine. Hence, I’m thankful and excited!

life with a kindergartener: umbrella train

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Today, I made you walk the equivalent of three bus stops; roughly 2 km but made more difficult as it is on a hilly area. Yes, we missed our bus and you cried when the bus didn’t wait for us even when the driver could probably see us running towards it; we were merely twenty steps away from the stop. You cried because you know I will scold you for being late; you fully know it was your fault because you dilly-dallied.

We were late (I’m late for work) and it was cold and raining and we have to walk because the bus won’t be coming for another twenty minutes and there was no taxi in sight.

It was supposed to be a difficult walk what with the rain and the biting, cold wind. But with your sunny disposition it became an enjoyable one. You pretended we were an umbrella train and were imitating the sound of a train of decades gone by. You announced the bus stops ahead and announced our arrivals to said bus stops.

You made an otherwise dreary walk into an enjoyable and memorable one. You banished the irritation I was feeling in having to endure the cold and replaced it with a happy and proud feeling.

Thank you.

I pray and hope and wish my dearest Yui that nothing and nobody, least of all me and your Dad, could dim that sunny disposition of yours. And may you keep it, and make it even brighter and sunnier as you grow old.

Love,

Mommy

the fight with influenza and the feat of an Olympian

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I thought we could get away with it. Unfortunately, you caught it. I was busy in the kitchen the other Saturday, preparing for your best friend’s and her family’s arrival when you said “ちからがでない (I don’t have the strength)” in reply to me telling you to change your clothes. It was only then that I noticed you had fever. Your best friend and her sister came; and in fairness to you, you entertained them as much as you can, ate side by side with Saki, whispering some secret to each other’s ears. But after lunch, you took from the bedroom your comfort blankies and nestled comfortably in the sofa. Your energy was already spent. Visitors of course had to go home early.

We thought it was just the usual colds because you were still sleeping, eating and drinking well, temperature wasn’t too high. But a visit to the doctor confirmed you had the B type influenza, the one not covered by the vaccine (our first brush, and I hope our last).

And so we spent the last ten days inside home except for the three instances that we had to go visit clinics. Your Dad and I had to slather ourselves with essentials oils (diluted of course) as our protection from getting infected. Doctor said you’re contagious up to today. Thankfully, we hadn’t contracted your virus (and I hope I’m not saying this too early because I want to say the EOs really works! And I can’t afford to be off from work for another week). I had body aches though; probably from lack of exercise because you just want me by your side in the bed.

This evening, I went to your room, intending to ask you to finish your drawings so we could take a bath as tomorrow’s our big day after a week-long leave. You had your back to the door but I know something was wrong because your shoulders were slumped. The moment I asked you if you were ok, the dam broke. You bawled and bawled. I finally understood what bothered you. You wanted to draw a cute dog but you couldn’t do it; or rather your hands couldn’t do what you had in mind and it’s making you frustrated.

When in the future baby, you get to be a Mom, you would probably understand that in that instance, you were not the only one who was broken-hearted. I was broken hearted too. Thankfully you listened to me as I tried to comfort you. I reminded you of the figure skaters who did excellently in the Olympics (Yuzuru Hanyu and Shoma Uno bagged gold and silver!) and they too had to practice and practice and practice. That for one to be excellent at something, we need to practice everyday.

Thankfully you listened. And I pray and hope you will persevere and will have a determined heart like our Olympic winners.

New Year flowers

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I went Japanese this New Year. Or at least I tried to observe some of the auspicious traditions in Japanese New Year; for one, I bought a special set of flowers in which each had a special meaning. This beautiful one was the littlest in a stem with five buds. I actually thought it wouldn’t ever bloom; that the whole stem would already die down before this one would reach her time. I even already stopped refilling the vase with fresh water. But she did, she did, and she did bloom today. She was the last, but she did bloom. And the marvel was that, she was the most beautiful of them five. Somehow, the line in Mulan comes to mind,

The flower that blooms in adversity, is the most rare and beautiful of all.

I smile too whenever I gaze at these orchids which have been in bloom for more than two weeks yet still looking as fresh as ever (the third though was also a late bloomer; just the other day! And I thought we wouldn’t have new blooms anymore.

And because I want to mark today.