back to back parenting lessons learned

Posted on January 29, 2014 by Marjorie

The last couple of nights brought me blessings, blessings in the form of lessons on how to be a better parent.

Everyone who’s close to me knows that I’m a cleanliness freak. And being an OC for cleanliness poses a problem when you have a toddler who likes to explore and who needs to explore for her learning, freedom and independence. So what I did was wipe with alcohol the suspiciously dirty areas (think toilet door for one) that are within her level. But if I’d be doing that every night, what with all the evening chores, I probably wouldn’t have the time to sleep. So we decided to let go and be a little lenient and let her explore half of the kitchen (the part without trash cans and stove/grill knobs) and all the other safe parts of our house. She’s definitely happy.

Earlier, when the box of tissue was used up, I gave it to Yui, thinking she’s going to like playing with it. Then she walked about. I gave a shriek when she headed to the trash can, with “dirty! Dirty! Dirty!!” on my head. But what she did astounded me. She cleanly dropped the box of tissue on the trash can; cleanly being not touching any of the other trash. Of course our daughter heaped praises from us after that, her face radiant.

Never underestimate your baby. Let her explore and learn whilst keeping her safe.

The other lessons learned touched me more deeply. My bonding time with Yui is cuddling her during bedtime. More often than not, she would sleep with any part of my upper body as pillow (yes, even my face, during the wee hours of the morning). But last night my body was just aching all over and that I was so fatigued that her pushing her body against me made me wince in pain. And that using my tummy as pillow further drains my energy. So every time she pushed her little body against me, I pick her up, hug and kiss her and tuck her to her bed, explaining that I wasn’t feeling well and that she had to be a grown up girl for the evening. We repeated the same procedure five or six times more that night, until finally she fell asleep on her bed. I woke up in the morning with her still in her bed, woke up missing her head touching mine, woke up missing her dominating my side of the bed and sleeping soundly in the middle of my pillow. Of course it bothered me the whole day.

Come bedtime this evening, after finishing a story from her Beginner’s Bible and after prayer time, she started to crawl back to her bed, looked back at me with an expression that tells you she was weighing things, and then proceeded to crawling to her bed, holding her blankie close to her. It pierced my heart. She didn’t go to me anymore for cuddling. Then I reminded myself that I taught her to do it. With a sigh and the thought of how babies learn fast, I tucked her into her blankie so she’d feel more snug. I didn’t dare ask her to come over to me. It’ll just confuse her. So I let her be, and we just stared at each other from our individual pillows as I sang her her lullaby, me patting her arm.

But then she made a loud grunt and heaved a sigh that suspiciously sounded like exasperation. She then rose and stood up, hesitated, one feet on the top of the edge of her crib that was positioned almost attached to our bed and waited for my invitation. I stretched out my arm and she jumped down into my embrace. And so we cuddled and cuddled some more, my daughter obviously very happy. She switched into several positions, burrowing into my arms some more, and every time looking at me with a very happy face, confident that she is loved.

Babies grow up really fast. And before you know it, it might be you who’s chasing for her hug. Treasure the now. I’ve already borne the pains of childbirth, it surely doesn’t match the pain of an achy body, especially if your baby is hugging you back as well.

Yui anak, thank you for the gentle reminders. I now have my first bout of pollen allergy for the season and I know from now it’s going to be really hard, health wise. So thank you for this early gentle reminder.

Compliments on a fine autumn day

Posted on November 24, 2013 by Marjorie

We’re having yet another great weather weekend. And since I have to work overtime tomorrow (can’t work today because the networks are down) and today’s a special holiday so our Nihongo class is off, I hounded Hubs that we go out and enjoy the wonderful autumn colors. So off we go to Shinjuku Gyoen.

As the park’s quite far from our place, we first had to take the local Keikyu line and then take the rapid Shonan Shinjuku line. While waiting for the rapid train, we were queuing behind a distinguished-looking old gentleman, the type who exudes authority.

When our train finally arrived, we were lucky that we queued on the door near the priority seat and that it wasn’t crowded hence we could take Yui out her baby car and the three of us could all sit down, with Yui sometimes standing to enjoy the passing scenery, the old gentleman sitting the seat opposite us. I was doing what I usually do when we travel long distance – pointing out to Yui interesting and new stuff, giving her a book or a toy when she got bored looking about, giving her a blanket or towel when she wants one, (she already had snacks and a drink earlier in the local train) and rocking her to sleep, ultimately putting her down on the baby car so she can sleep more soundly and so I can browse the internet with my phone (hehe!).

On one of the station stops, the old gentleman stood to get off. He was standing quite close to the baby car so I looked up. And got surprised to see that he was beaming at me. And with a jolly tone, he said “いいママですよ！” (you are a great mother!). I was so touched with the conviction in his voice and that he really told me so that there were tears in my eyes as I bowed and said my thanks (heck even now I’m teary-eyed!). Being a firs time Mom who is also struggling with keeping a balance between career and being a wife (and a daughter and a friend und so weiter), being complimented like that by a complete stranger (and one who looked snobbish at first glance!) can really touch you deep. Thank you dear stranger. But thank you as well Yui, for being such a well-behaved baby.

Great weather (perfectly blue sky!) and great compliment had me floating as we entered the park. To see all this beauty (unfiltered!).

We had lunch here.

Lunch! This is the best quiche I’ve had. The blueberry muffin we saved for Yui’s snack. I wish there’s Dean and Deluca in Yokohama!

In which the baby had a stroll afterwards in the picnic area.

A couple of hours later, we had our snacks here.

Thankful.

One coin

Posted on November 22, 2013 by Marjorie

this has been the longest blogging hiatus I’ve had in this website. The reason being no other than that I am overwhelmingly busy at work. Hope to blog some more real soon.

In an industry that has seen casualties and injuries during a course of a project, milestones like a year or a million manhours that’s incident free are celebrated. Recently, our project celebrated a year sans injury among its project members. As a thank you note, we were given a coin token bearing our project’s logo on one side (reminding us of our objective and goal) and the “no change” sign on the other side (reminding us of the expectations in the project).

We thought of ways of how we can make use of the token but we couldn’t think of a novel idea other than the reasons why it was given to us in the first place – a token of celebration of safety among members and a reminder of our goals/objectives/expectations as we move forward in our project execution.

When my colleague who was seated next to me got to his desk, he noticed the coin and asked me what it was and from whom did it come from and what it was made of (gold plated? Not sure, probably not). And so I explained. Now this colleague usually has a serious face. But the expression he had and what he said after my explanation (and also partly because I know his wife died at a young age) left me speechless that I can only say “ooohhh”.

With a tender expression and a smile on his face, he said, “I’ll give this to my son”. His smile was a knowing smile, confident that his son will be happy with it.

We surely can’t beat that novel use for our token coin.

baby diaries: hai

Posted on November 2, 2013 by Marjorie

Your Dad and I have been wondering for some time, baby, on what would be your first word apart from Addy/Daad/Dy and Mom-ma. Would it be Japanese, English, or to stretch things out, Filipino or Visaya? For simple instructions so far, you can already understand either Japanese or English as you are equally exposed to both languages.

The first time we heard your Addy (around the time you were eight months old), it was just so cute! Yes, you said Addy/Daad/Dy first before saying Mom-ma. And oh how proud and happy your Dad was. But when you finally said Mom-ma at 13 months, your Mom-ma almost couldn’t contain the joy and pleasure it brings. Thank you.

Then henceforth we waited further on the other first word – Japanese? English? The wait didn’t take long. And it was to your Dad that you first said it. Earlier this week, your Dad was teaching you yet again about giving and taking. And in one of those sessions, right after Dad said “choudai Yui”, you said “ha~~i” while giving the toy to Daddy. Then you said it again yesterday.

So there we have it. It’s Japanese then. 🙂 🙂

sleep crawling

Posted on October 12, 2013 by Marjorie

Recently, with three new teeth making their way out Yui’s gums, Yui has been restless in her sleep. There were nights that I could only appease her if I lay her down really close to me, using my forearm and shoulder as her pillow and after which I’d ease her out my arm and we’d share my pillow. She got used to this that there were times she would just suddenly get up from her crib (attached right next to my side of the bed) and slide down my bed to snuggle against me. And this she does without even a teeny weeny cry. Baby version of sleep walking – sleep crawling.

This evening, after giving her her bottle of milk (up to now, I still give her her milk by holding her against me as I did ever since she was a newborn. Since I started giving her solids for breakfast, she can only drink her milk from the bottle twice a day – once at daycare at the other before bedtime. So these evening snuggles I really treasure) and putting her to sleep in her crib, I resumed with my housework. After I was done with chores and with preparing myself to bed, I went to bed – and stopped in my tracks when I found Yui’s crib empty. I felt like my heart stopped beating and jumped out my body leaving my body numb and cold. “WHERE’S MY BABY??!!!” was the sudden cry inside me, slowly mounting in volume, almost about to burst out my mouth. And then I saw her in the dim light, sprawled in the middle of my bed. She must have been looking for me.

All those fearful feelings just passed by in a split second yet it made me realise the extent of my reaction should it take me longer than a second to look for my missing child, God forbid.

I’m starting to get worried she’ll develop this sleep walking habit, a habit that started because she just wanted to be beside me, a habit that’s totally scary considering the possible consequences especially when she’ll already have her own room, a habit that that has got to stop. I’m dearly hoping this would only be when she’s teething. Please?

out with white bread

Posted on August 27, 2013 by Marjorie

Finally, an access to my WordPress app! Couldn’t access the app for a almost a couple of weeks in that I had to reinstall the app. Thing is, I had to try several times to get the right password. But finally, thankfully, I now got an access!

So. Last post was about eating healthy goodness and here is yet another one!

As much as possible, whenever I feed Yui bread, I try to give her the healthier option. Thankfully, she loves it as well!

Hijiki (seaweed) rice bread (the one with white powder on the top) and rye wheat bread.

I also have these two for lunch at least once a week.

When I was pregnant, I love Muji Café’s wheat bread. Now, both Mom and baby love the bread.

Let’s opt for the healthier choice Moms and Dads!

On Chocolate Hill

A chocolatey journey, with Yui!

Category Archives: parenting