Category Archives: work

Mansplained but Inspired

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It’s been two full weeks since I’ve joined my new project. A project I least expected to be part of. And apparently, a lot of people in the team was surprised too. Surprised because there was already someone who should be handling what I’m handling now. But then some higher up insisted I should have the post instead. Even more surprising was the one who made the strong recommendation was well known to be very strict and of high standards.

And so he had his way. And I’m now in a team where 90% of the people are people with whom I haven’t worked with. And they’re all men. If you are working in a Japanese corporate company, and you’re a woman, you probably know well the battles I have to go through.

I’ve been mansplained since Day 1. I can’t even finish my justifications/technical explanations without getting interrupted. And the way they explained is just so condescending, as if you have no idea of the topic.

And so since Day 1, I’ve been fighting. And asserting my right. Making a stand. There was a time I had to interrupt my “adviser”, and in a chilling voice told him “it’s not my first time, no need to tell me that”. And the other day, when one Lead ignored my email and I followed up, he started explaining as if I was a college student (he’s younger than me). I’m sure I had fire on my eyes when I strongly said while hitting the floor with the point of my umbrella, “do not underestimate! Never underestimate!” He became friendly to me the day after.

Yesterday (Friday) was sort of a winning moment for me. For a week I’ve been trying to tell several people/Leads about a technical issue that will have huge impact. But nobody seemed to understand and everyone seemed to dismiss my opinion. Thankfully finally the second to top guy in the team finally gave me the go signal to ask another department. That other department came back and affirmed the huge cost impact of the issue I raised.

I was vindicated. But I thought of how much I had to fight. I was starting to think that perhaps, it’s ok not to fight too much. It’s ok to just let them be. I know my worth. I don’t have to shout it out. I don’t need to speak up as I’m already getting tired. I am tired. And it’s just been two weeks.

But then today, unexpectedly, a friend who just resigned, emailed me to say goodbye. And to tell me how she looks up to me. How I inspire her to speak up. How when faced with a challenging task, she’d think of me and think what would I probably say or do if given the same task.

I cried. She was thanking me. But in fact, I should be the one thanking her. Because by telling me all those beautiful words, she reminded me to not give up the fight, when there is something to fight for. That just by trying, I can inspire others to try too. That all my efforts so far has not gone to waste, because somehow, I helped others to strive to be better.

Thank you Ish. You’re the third dear one who told me these sweet words; and I hold all of you dear to me. I am thankful I made a mark in your lives, but more importantly, I am grateful that you told me. It polished my sword, as I keep up the fight and move onwards and up.

life with a grade schooler: leader!

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Was telling you last night how I’d be late in coming home because I had to attend an important party with our Clients and that in my Company, only the leaders in my project were invited.

With wide and proud eyes, you exclaimed, “Mommy, you are leader?”

Even at pre-school, you’ve always been proud whenever it was your turn to be the leader. And from the snippets that I’ve seen, you’ve been a fine leader so far. We’re gonna have lots of talks yet of what it takes to be a leader and the struggles and joys of being one (and for the record I’m still a work-in-progress myself). But for the mean time, I relished at the marvel in your face upon learning your Mom is a leader. I wanted to instil that in you. And I wanted you to think, even at a young age, that mothers can make their mark in conservative Japan corporate culture. There are a lot of struggles as the corporate culture is still changing to accommodate us Moms. But we’re getting there, baby. And I hope you’ll be encouraged too, and inspired, and be a trailblazer.

The Day’s Kudos

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I am proud of the schools I’ve been to. They’re not internationally well known nor have they churned out numbers of Nobel Laureates. But they are the best in my hometown and hence home the crème de la crème in my region.

Working, however, for an international and multinational company can make you doubt your capabilities from time to time. It’s one thing to work with people who come from world-renowned universities with patent-holding alumni, and have the likes of Quantum Physics for Masters who have been seasoned with industry experience. But it’s totally another thing when they are idealist fresh graduates who are proud of where they came from.

And so given all that, it comes as a very pleasant reward on your efforts when you see your engineer working for/with you with passion. Even more so when they went ahead and announced to everyone their praise on how you went above and beyond.

I believe (and hope) my managers saw my capabilities hence they put me in my current position. But I hold praises from my subordinates higher than that of my bosses. Priceless. Inspiration for me to do even better. ❤️

Image courtesy of Microsoft Teams

a day to be thankful for

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The daycare’s small program for the September birthday celebrants fell right smack in the middle of our P&ID review period. And luck of lucks, my unit got scheduled on the very morning that the daycare program was gonna be held. When one of the Leads saw my pained look though, he asked if I wasn’t available. And so, right in front of the whole team, I said the reason. Before I realised what was happening (I was still debating in my head whether my conscience will forgive me in case Yui ends up the only celebrant without a parent), the unit leads of the team started to volunteer shifting the schedule of the units. Now who wouldn’t love a team like that?! Of course I told them so too; of how I love the team. In my almost 17 years at work, I have never heard of big review meetings schedules being shifted because of a parent needing to attend his/her child’s event at school (see, these meetings involve many other people from different companies hence most teams are less compromising)

  • And so yesterday, we could attend the celebration. To see Yui’s big, happy, exuberant smile. My heart is so full of gratitude to God and good people who made this possible.
  • There came a bonus too. After the birthday event, Yui’s head teacher called me and gathered her kindergarten troop. They had me seated in the center and then Yui’s class gathered around me. Yui then gave me a DIY-framed photo which was taken after my “Hello Work” presentation to the class. It was lovely; the thoughtfulness of having that small ceremony, the moment to have all the lovely kids and their brilliant teacher gather around me, the sweet photo frame memento. Grateful.
  • When I got back to the office, I learned that there has been “fire” in the morning review meeting. That meant a LOT of argument during the meeting. That means I’ll be dealing with hot headed people when it’s my unit’s turn in the afternoon. It meant making extra effort to be gracious and diplomatic yet authoritative as the specialist for the unit. By God’s grace, I was able to do just that. One Client even commented of how good the meeting for my unit went after having their patience extremely tested in the morning. Thankful to God for empowering me.
  • And to cap a beautiful day, I was able to have a chat with a beautiful friend; who capped our conversation by telling me of how she looks up to me as an inspiration and role model. I see her as someone who’s perfect and a role model herself. Hence for her to say that….it’s one of those ultimate compliments that encourages me to do my best and be the better version of my self.
  • And this, I pray to God.

    • Life with a Kindergartener: Hello Work

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    For an hour my 5-year-long wish came true – to be a teacher at your daycare.

    Your daycare has this program on introducing parents’ work to senior class. I inquired about it and so principal took the chance to ask if I could present something about my mother country. Told her I agree with her idea but that aside from that, I will also teach them some songs and introduce them to STEM.

    IT-WAS-DIFFICULT to simplify engineering to kindergarten level. But at least your class was squealing and giggling during our experiment when we mixed the vinegar and baking soda and CO2 bubbles formed. The food colouring we added made it more fun.

    You were also beside yourself with giddiness by the mere fact that I am your class’ teacher for the afternoon. You wanted to hug and cuddle me. I am touched to see how proud you are of me. Thank you.

    But I am so much more proud of you because you confidently got in front and taught your friends the song “Under the spreading chestnut tree”.

    Keep it up, baby. 🙂

    PS

    Our effort bore fruit. The principal, teachers, my beloved mentor at office, parents all said we did a great job/ we were “subarishii”. That we took the challenge of being the first ever to do this Hello Work activity in the entire daycare history; despite me being a none-Japanese speaker. Thank you Lord, for the inspiration.

    Humbled by a compliment

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    I believe anybody would consider being able to change someone, for the better, as an achievement of a lifetime. Especially when you didn’t intend to do it. That by just being yourself, you’ve brought change. 

    Hence I was totally humbled when a colleague/boss told me how the whole project (process) team – 15 of us – changed, for the better, after I joined the team. How a once non-interactive team got more engaged and finally truly acted as a team just by being my communicative self. 

    I didn’t see the compliment coming, who would?! Especially since I joined at month 4 and hence my role wasn’t as lead, not even for a dedicated unit. 

    But indeed, if I would be honest with myself, I could see some change. No, not the whole team – even if I be truly truly honest to the core, I could not see the whole team had changed just because of me. But I did see the difference in a few people. How they got more passionate with their work, where before, there was lacklustre; and how a few became happier and more communicative. Was it because of me?! I wouldn’t dare claim that. They most likely just realised something within the month of my joining the project. 

    Nevertheless, dear colleague/boss/mentor, I am deeply grateful that you think so highly of me. I am truly humbled. 

    Mark Twain said, “I can live for two months on a good compliment”. 

    Your compliment, however, will last me a lifetime and will continue to inspire me to be a better person than I was yesterday. Thank you.